Back by popular demand October 6, 2009

Hi everybody.  I was talking with my family on Sunday and my older brother mentioned that he is sad that I am not longer gung ho about the whole weight loss thing.  He was proud of me when I was tracking my food and such.  I have decided to do this again.  I am actually sort of following a new eating plan.  Well, not really, but I want to do better at following the Eat and Be Lean program.  So I am tracking the things that I eat.  I will start with yesterday and also add today.

October 5, 2009

Breakfast- 2 slices pumpkin bread, 1 small apple.  16 oz water.

Lunch- 1/2 turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread.  Bowl of oatmeal w/ brown sugar and milk.  2 pc. toast.  milk

Snack- two strawberry laffy taffies.

Dinner- Spaghetti on whole wheat noodles.  Steamed broccoli. Pineapple.  Milk. 2 pc. whole wheat toast w/ butter.

I ate pretty good today.  I was craving fast food like crazy after work, and I even went to the store so I was out and about and it would have been easy to stop for something, but we are trying to be careful with our budget, and fast food is bad for you.  So I didn’t stop for anything and I went home and made dinner!

October 6, 2009

Breakfast- couple spoonfuls of chocolate frosting.  ( i made a cake for someones birthday at work today.)

Thursday, Oct. 1. Welcome October! October 1, 2009

 

I can’t believe it’s October already!  Wow, where has the year gone?  It really has flown by.  I wanted to post some of the highlight of this year so far.

My first Anniversary with my wonderful husband in Logan.

Jacob passing his classes Spring semester!

New apartment.  It’s beautiful and we love it!

New/really old junkie car for me to drive to work.  It works!  That’s all that matters.

Being called as Nursery workers together.  (It didn’t last long, but for the time we had together it was awesome.)

Annie Get Your Gun.  Totally awesome experience.

Dinner group established with some of our bestest friends in the whole world.

 A whole lot of game nights in Salt Lake.  I bet that none of you can beat Jacob at Puerto Rico.  Yes, that is a challenge.

Enrolling in Independent Study.

Many darling nieces and nephews getting bigger and older, but their cuteness just grows with them.

A new couch! By new, I mean used and we just bought it.  Kind of like the car. 

Not changing jobs for 15 months and counting.  (Knock on wood.)

Just knowing that the Lord blesses me so much more than I can know, and having a testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

The year is not over and I am looking forward to many more wonderful experiences.

 

Freewriting September 11, 2009

Right now I am taking a BYU Independent Study Course.  It’s English 115.  Anyway, I am reading about drafting ideas and one of them in called freewriting where you take 10 minutes and just write everything that comes into your head.  I found that I had the desire to do so.  Here it goes

I was pondering on weight loss.  What else is new?  And I thought of the reasons that I am scared to lose weight.  Why would I be scared to lose weight you might ask, but there are some definite reasons floating around in my brain.  The first being that I have heard that people become more nasty when they lose weight.  yikes.  I am really afraid of being a more mean and very judgemental person.  I believe that I already have a problem with being judgemental and I don’t need any more help in becoming more judgemental.  Also , um , i can’t think of anything to say.  I was thinking about being judgmental, and then I got a brain cramp.  Maybe my brain froze up because I started thinking of somthing bad for me.  Considering challenges made my brain freeze up.  Another reason I am scared of losing weight is that I would then ( I am literally not thinking anything right now.  I am looking at these words going down on the page and that is all my brain in thinking of.  The song playing on the radio, excuse me, the ipod that is, we listen to the same songs everyday.  Anyway the song was a really twangy country song.  Yuck, I don’t really like that.  In my head I can picture a person thin, tan, beautiful, happy, confident, I think that it’s me, but I don’t have a direct visual of the face.  Her hair looks good though.  She is in a red clingy shirt and long jean shorts.  I can picture myself being thin and pregnant as well.  I want to be her so badly.  I have this horror picture also in my head of a fat, sloppy, out of breath, in a moo-moo dress because nothing else will fit her fat body, pregnant, woman.  I dread her.  I think these are my real feelings about myself.  I think they are a little scary.  The thin woman is a student at BYU even if she has a baby and is able to handle the juggle of family and school.  The thin woman gets parts in the Opera and is a fabulous singer.  She is confident.  I am thinking of myself now in my current state.  I am not practicing voice nor am I losing weight and I don’t want to offer myself to BYU like this.  I won’t be able to make it into the program number 1, I am still going to be fat and they will not want to let me in because I am fat.  I will not be considered a shining star because I don’t look like one.  I won’t make it into the choirs, I won’t get parts in the Opera.  My voice teacher won’t like me.  I won’t make any friends.  I can picture myself exercising, eating healthy, being thin, slim, tan, getting fit and healthy, and being happy.  How can I get there,  I want that now.  When I come back to reality I don’t want to do those things because I am not that person in my head.  Maybe I am that person.  That is me all along the way.  I have to start now, no it’s too hard.  What is too hard?  Not eating treats, fast food, having to get up off the couch.  Am I happy on the couch?  Yes, in that I am comfortable, I am sad I am wasting my life.  I like to go out and yet I don’t like to.  Sometimes it can be boring just me and Jacob because we are not motivated together.  I just wallow.  We like to go to movies and watch other people who look really good do cool things and be happy.  I want to do something with my sisters tonight.  I am going to call Jacob.

Addicted August 6, 2009

It has been so very long since I posted.  It’s because I have not been doing anything to lose weight, and since this blog is dedicated to that, I have not posted.  However, I still want to lose weight.  I do.  I want to.  So what in the world is stopping me?  I have an addiction.  It’s food.  It’s my answer to everything.  Hungry?  Food.  Bored?  Food.  Depressed?  Food.  Feelings hurt?  Food.  Low self image?  Food.  No energy?  Food.  Long day?  Food.  Feeling happy?  Food.  Watching a movie at home?  Food.

  I am not so bad, mind you, but there are really some food that I am addicted to.  Sugar.  In all it’s forms.  Candy bars are so awesome.  I don’t know if I will ever not crave a candy bar.  Same with fast food.  It seems like I am often craving fast food. 

  When I go to exercise it literally feels like I am chained inside my house.  It’s like I can’t leave.  I don’t know what to do to break free.  If any one out there is reading this, what can I do to break free? 

  I am seriously considering Weight Watchers and joining a fitness center.  I am afraid of failure though.  Then wasted money. 

I need to remeber that I am a good person though.  I have accomplished some great things in my life.  I just finished doing a play in which, despite my obesity, I was a success at.  I made it into the BYU music department and I am going to do it again.  Heavenly Father is helping me.  He wants me to be happy.  I can do this.

Tracker June 9, 2009

So I thought I would track my goals and write how I am doing on them.  To quickly review them: drink 8 glasses of water a day, get good sleep, nothing bad until noon, a healthy well balanced breakfast, incorporate more beans into my diet. 

How did I do yesterday?  Okay.  I did not eat anything bad before noon!!!  My breakfast was pretty good.  I am on my way to success. 

I didn’t do everything perfect, but I made a start.  I am conscious of my goals and I want to do well on them .  Today is going to be a better day.  And that is not to say that yesterday was not a good day.  I am satisfied and that is a healthy and good thing for me in itself.  I am feeling good right now and that is the best motivation I can have.

New Goal June 8, 2009

I know it has been forever since I have posted.  I’m not going to lie, I have not been doing anything to lose weight.  I am just doing nothing really.  However, I have a new goal.  My goal is to lose 10 lbs.  How hard can that be right?  I am pretty excited.  Here are the things I am going to do to lose the 10 lbs:

-Eat a well balanced breakfast.

-Drink 8 glasses of water a day

-Get good sleep

-Eat nothing crappy before noon

-Try to incorporate more beans into my diet

These things are simple, easy to accomplish, and will really boost my health. Anyone who is wanting to do this with me is more than welcome.  Just a 10 lb. goal!  I can do this

I’m Back!!! May 18, 2009

OK.  OK.  I am back! This is hard for me, because a big part of me still doesn’t want to be doing this right now, but I have really let myself go and I don’t want to give up.  So I am back.  I dont’ want to make any empty promises today, but this is going to help me, I know it.  So, again I will be recording what I eat and the exercise I do.  I haven’t gone crazy in my rebellion, but I don’t feel as good either.  My body needs to move and needs good fuel to function appropriately.  So, here we go again.

Breakfast: kashi golean crunch cereal w/ 1% milk.

Day 2 May 5, 2009

Today is going to be a good day.  I started off the day right with my scripture read and now have the rest of the day to look forward to.

Breakfast- 1 cup Kashi GoLean Cereal w/ 2/3 c. skim milk.  (5 pts.)

Snack- white chocolate macadamia nut cookie. (9pts. 14 total)

Lunch- 1 McDonalds grilled chicken sandwich, 1 small fry, water, vanilla ice cream cone. ( 17 pts. 31 total)

Dinner- fajitas, 2 flour tortillas, 3 oz beef, reduced fat sour cream, 1/2 c yogurt. (9 pts. 40 pts. total)

Jacob and I had McDonalds for lunch because we had a gift card.  For eating  out I did really well today.  I could have gotten a salad, but I just couldn’t bring myself to get a salad.  They never sound appetizing enough.

Monday! A New Week. A New Beginning May 4, 2009

 

Isn’t May a great time to start afresh?  I think so.  It’s springtime, the weather is getting warmer, summer is approaching, and if you have forgotten your new years resolutions, it certainly is not too late to remember them. 

Okay, I officially fell off the band wagon again, but this time, I promise I am on it to stay and here is why.  I was reading my scriptures this morning and I received some inspiration in my read.  I was reading in Mosiah when Alma the Younger and the sons of Mosiah were taking people away from the gospel and being very wicked.  An angel comes and visits Alma and the sons of Mosiah and tells them to stop their wickedness.  The angel mentions the reason he came was because of the many faithful prayers of Alma’s father, Alma, and the other believers of Christ.  Alma the Younger is so shocked by the angel that he falls to the earth and is struck paralized for three days.  When he returns to conciousness he has completely changed and instead of tearing people away from the church, he works to convert people to the gospel.  

As I was reading this it hit me: if I pray with enough faith, I will be able to conquer this weight.  The Lord will bless me with the inner strength I need to succeed.  Heavenly Father knows that I want, and need to lose weight and He will help me.  I need to show that I have faith that He can help me.  I am very excited about my new inspiration and I am very thankful that Heavenly Father blessed me with this inspiration. 

Over the next while I will be looking for my own “angels” to change me and make me who I truly am.  I have decided that I am following the Weight Watchers points system to assist me in my weight loss. 

Right now I should eat 37 points per day.  Of those 37 points, each day the following foods need to be consumed: 5 fruits and vegetables, 2 tsp. of oil, 2 dairy products, and six 8 oz. portions of water.  So here we go. I plan on color coding to see what I have completed for the day. Dairy, Fruit or Vegetable, Oil, Water.

Day 1

Breakfast: 1 cup oatmeal, 1 cup skim milk, 1 tbsp brown sugar, 1 pc toast w/ 1 tsp butter. 8 pts.

snack- 1 orange, 1 fat free yogurt. 3 pts. (11 total)

 Lunch- egg salad sandwich, (2 eggs, 2 pc bread) bowl of cereal, milk, cucumbers. 16 pts. (27 total)

20 oz water.

I had a couple pretzels (0 pts.)

20 oz water

Dinner- Breaded homemade chicken  nuggets, big baked potato, green beans, salad w/ light dressing, crystal light. (11 pts.)

Dessert- 2 popcicles. (3 pts.) 41 point total today.  This is great!  Weight Watchers allows you to have 35 extra points to use throughout the week.  So I have 29 remaining extra points for the week.  Yay!!! What a great eating day.  I got in all my dairy, almost all my fruits and vegetables, one of my oils (I am counting my salad dressing because it was oil based) and all my water!! What a success.

Thursday April 30, 2009 April 30, 2009

Breakfast- 1 cup kashi go lean cereal, 1 cup skim milk 5pts.

16 oz water

3 jelly bellys

Lunch- 10 Wendy’s nuggets, 1 Wendy’s double stack, small Wendy’s Frosty.  I feel bad actually putting what I ate for lunch out in the open.  I feel ashamed.  My stomach is hurting from gas.